Notes from God

1 Nov

Okay, yes this is God.  You don’t have to make a big deal out of it. Ignore the first two commandments if they seem self-centered. The other ones… not too shabby. Love thy neighbor as thy self would pretty much put all the lawyers out of work.

So, listen up this is the  Great and Powerful God talking at ya. Former Flooder of the World.  Ex-Landlord of Adam and Eve etc. I still get a lot of grief for giving them the boot. But come on, one lousy rule and you mess up?  Seriously.  It was Paradise for cry-i-i. Maybe if Adam had had a 3-D flat screen with the total NFL package and unlimited pizza he might have hung in there. But he didn’t so knock off all the boo-hoo-hoo.  Life is short, yadda, yadda yadda.

Where was I? I got a lot on my mind so I sometimes lose track.  I’d explain how my mind works but it would just make your head explode. Plus, I not only have to worry about your — what is it Milky Way– but I have a huge star about three thousand galaxies over that is about to go super nova…Shoot I may have said too much there.

Just know that I love you all exactly the same. No highly intelligent species is smarter, prettier, funnier or more hard working than any other one. You’re all special.  You’re all perfect participants in God’s Great Plan, however you may define it. Yep, God’s Great Plan.  Man, I should have nailed down that web domain when I had the chance. Oh, well spilled milk.

So, yeah I’m back on the case… and this time it’s personal. Joke. But, be cool and hang in there. One last thing.  What is it with hunting?  You’ve been smart for what 175,000 to 300,000 years … I have it written down somewhere. Isn’t it time to fight fair?


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