The American Pledge

6 Dec

I will pass the buck.

I will complain about tax loopholes while eagerly looking for more of my own.

I will root for the underdog unless I have money on the game.

I will drive as if I own the road and will yell loudest when I am wrongest.

I will cheerfully give directions to out-of-towners especially if I don’t have a clue as to where they want to go.

I will give cliche advice to all expectant mothers, the more counter-intuitive the better.  If possible I will come up with a new statistic that is truly frightening.

I will drive 75 mph and will tailgate anyone driving slower.

I will end any losing discussion with the time honored “Hey, how would you like a punch in the nose?”

I will watch cable more hours than I work per week.  And most of the time at work I will be on Facebook.

One nation under God, yadda-yadda, whatever.

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