Enabling Father Christmas

8 Dec

“If you would be so kind as to spare a moment, Mr. Entwhistle?”

“Surely, Mr. Glanmore-Jones.  There isn’t a problem, is there?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so.  I hate to be a bother.”

“No bother at all, Mr. Glanmore-Jones. As my mother, God rest her sainted soul, used to say: If one of the chorus people is on fire, that’s not a problem – but if the artist playing the title character has a paper cut, that is a cataclysm.”

“Oh, don’t bother yourself about it.  It’s silly.  I’ll deal with it, somehow.”

“Absolutely nothing is too silly for the stage manager.  That should be a maxim framed above the stage door.  To go along with: Don’t crackle those little candy wrappings once the lights go down.”

“Very well-put, Mr. Entwhistle.”

“Thank you.  So, what is it?  Do we need to trim the beard a little more so you don’t trip on it as you did in the matinee?  Is your wig still giving you the screaming mimis?  As you know, we have consulted with a local barber and he promised us a wig fashioned of human hair by business close, tomorrow. And you will also be pleased to know that we have engaged a young brute of a lad to wring out the sweat from your robe at each intermission for maximum relief.”

“Yes, thank you, but no.  It’s the final bow. I hate the responsibility of leading it. (BREAKING DOWN) It’s too much. Too much. Far too much.”

“Oh, well then.  I’ll have a word with the Director and suggest that we have the Duchess of Fuzzy Buzzy Land do it.  Would that suffice?”

“Yes.  Brilliant. She’ll be excellent for it.  And I’m sure delighted at the opportunity.”

“Done, then Father Chris– I mean Mr. Glanmore-Jones. Good-bye, then … (SIGH)  Stars.”

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One Response to “Enabling Father Christmas”

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  1. Tweets that mention Enabling Father Christmas « -- Topsy.com - December 8, 2010

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Bill Steinkellner, Bill Steinkellner. Bill Steinkellner said: Enabling Father Christmas: http://t.co/cvwyZUP […]

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