Mystical Phrases for All Occasions

9 Dec

Veera Lakshmi — God be with you.  Not as much with you as with me, of course.  If we are in some kind of competition, I should beat you in a decisive (if not crushing) manner. But you can have God if you are competing with an archrival or mutual friend that we both find annoying.

Vijaya Lakshmi — God provides.  More to me than to you, perhaps.  But then I work in a focused, other-oriented way; while you just skip along picking the  daisies.  Soit is only fitting that I should get a larger portion of goodies.  This is a mystical no-brainer.

Dhanya Lakshmi — God is just. He smiles upon me as a decent, caring child of humanity who advances the cause of good in an uncertain world.  God is a little leery of the kind of shenanigans you think of as good works.

Aishwarya Lakshmi — God is everywhere. God is even in you. (Usually said sarcastically.)

Adhi Lakshmi — God is love.  Not the love that drives you to buy expensive tchotchkes for frivolous women with eye-catching profiles, but the more eternal kind.

Gaja Lakshmi — God forgets.  (Always said while knocking on wood with fingers crossed.)

Dhana Lakshmi — God always was and always will be.  And because of that don’t try any trick questions like “Can He make a stone that he can’t lift?” because then He will just ignore you through eternity.

Santhana Lakshmi — God is everywhere.  Plus He’s ever was and ever powerful. (Don’t think about it.  Just accept it.  Or you’ll be up until four in the morning.)


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