The Unwritten International Rules of Poker

15 Dec

1) When going out to play with the boys, poker and the Super Bowl are the only things it is manly to whine about.

2) Never bring more cash than you can lose but always bring a blank check because you don’t want to have to leave after the first  twelve minutes.

3) In the time leading up to playing poker the correct answer to “Do you love me more than poker?” is a sincere “Of course not, Honey” while discreetly checking your watch.

4) Anyone who makes the statement “it’s only a game” with a straight face, should be immediately ejected from the game and the house.

5) When you are compelled to fling your losing hand into the gloating face of your opponent, try to throw them in a manner that will not bend the cards so that the rest of the evening is not delayed by running out to Walgreens to get a new deck.

6) When your wife asks how you did, winners should minimize the amount and losers should mumble their reply.

7) Always beware the ancient warning: “if you look around the table and can’t figure out who the sucker is, the sucker is you.”

8) Drink beer.

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