The Old Equalizer for that Disadvantage in Upper Body Strength

28 Jan

I got a gun.  I’m the decider. I make the rules, now. You’re going to come to dinner when I call you.  Not in awhile or a little later or right after this inning or as soon as they call time out.

You have to throw away those jeans that show your butt like a plumber when you bend over and those t-shirts that let everyone see your gut when you reach up.  And you’re going to throw all your dirty clothes in the hamper as soon as you take them off.  Yeah, socks too, Bozo.  If they have holes toss them in the trash.  You can also ditch all your clothes that are age inappropriate or look like they come with a sign that says will work for food.

From now on you’re going to hear what I say the first time I say it.  You are going to do every errand without whining.  No whining ever. Not when something gets planned that you don’t like.  Not when something you want to do gets cancelled. Not when it rains. Not when we can’t find a place to eat lunch that you like.  You don’t get to have low blood sugar any more, Buster.

No sniveling even when you have the sniffles.  No moaning when one of your hundreds of teams loses the big game or series or has a player go on the DL.  Whatever the hell that is!

If you give me any trouble I’m going to use this little equalizer.  And I’ll plug you full of more holes than that underwear you still have from high school.  Now, go bring in the bags from Trader Joes.

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