The Devil or Why Nothing is Your Fault

31 Jan

The Devil makes us tired.

The Devil makes us quibble even when we really don’t give a crap.

The Devil cons us into making stupid mistakes. This makes our blood boil so we end up doing more stupid things. This goes on until we are exhausted and have to go to sleep. If we are lucky this happens just before we go to bed so we can blame it on being tired. … But who made us tired in the first place?  Yes! Very good class.

The Devil has other people do things like steal the parking space that is rightfully ours because he knows this will make us mad.  And mad people do stupid things especially when they are mad for a good reason.

The Devil sends big crowds to Disneyland so that we have to wait behind them in order to get an apple fritter in New Orleans Square. This is guaranteed to drive us bonkers.

The Devil invented performance anxiety and hot, humid days.

The Devil is a Senator from one of the (surprise, surprise) red states who is constantly railing against Satan. (Just kidding, the Devil is way better looking than any red state Senators.)


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