What 22 Shots of Cuervo Gold Can Lead To

2 Feb

“Fanny’s Place, Charlize speaking… No, Fanny isn’t here.  I’m Charlize….  I’m not even sure there is a Fanny – if there is she’s never been here.  I think I heard somebody say it was named for the owner’s mother. Or maybe his sister?  Or wait – his mother died in childbirth. Or his sister did, or something. …

No, I don’t think it’s sick to name a pleasure palace after your mother.  If  she was lucky she had a little fun on the way to making you. Unless you are one of those ignorant types who never had the birds and bees explained to him. Is this why you’re calling here at four in the morning? …

No, we don’t open ’til noon.  So, you’ll just have to hang in there until then, John Doe… Well, you waited ’til now –  you can wait a few more hours…

Well, maybe you should’ve drunk those 22 shots of Cuervo before three a.m. You can’t expect us to run an establishment based on when people get high and lonely.  That’s what the internet is for.  …

You’ll just have to learn to plan ahead or you’ll never get anywhere in life.  …

Oh now, don’t start bawling.  That’s going to make me cry.  You know, like how when somebody throws up it makes your tummy give a lurch. …

I’m sorry, I can’t bend the rules – not even a little.  The last hostesses are leaving… Bye, Crystal.  ‘Night-night, Roxy.

You want me to what?  No, no forget it. … Oh, all right – but you owe me, John Doe.  … Hush little baby don’t you cry la la la la la la la la lyeeeee…”


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