Da Greatest Most Fabulicious Entertainer in Da Whole Wide Woild

10 Feb

Howdy, folks it’s the old Schnozzola.  A hunnert and eighteen years young.  I seen that that li’l cutie Betty White got hoiself snickered into a come-back so I sez to myself, why not Durante?  Like that Arnold Schwarzensonofagun, I’m back.

Show Biz! I love every stinkin’ minute of it. Like when you’re workin’ witcher partner, not carin’ if the audience loves ya or hates ya.  It don’t matter cuz ya love each other like bruddas.  Then da bum ya been bleedin’ your ever-lovin’ heart out for gets a better deal and before ya can say umbriago he drops ya like a sack of week-old fish. Dat’s moral turpentine. But, I love it!

Or you’re rehoisin’ some stiff of a play when you’d be much happier coppin’ a few extra zz’s –alone or with accompapimento if ya get my drift — and just when ya think ya got da part down so poifect your own mudder wouldn’t know it’ you– some punk with a gradjit degree from the University of Hoity Toity says you ain’t up to snuff cuz you ain’t Uptown, Mid-Town or Toontown enough for his esohysterical sensibilities and bingobangobungo you’re outta a gig.  Ya’ gotta love dat!

Howz about ya shell out a hunnert and fifty smackers for Broadway seats in da prime real estate area, then your wife’s cousins get  the heave-ho for cracklin’ those little candies durin’ da overture.  I call dat Show Biz-adjacent.

And then after 118 years of hard work ya find yourself thisclose to bein’ a judge on America’s Next Great Celebrity Who’s Famous for No Damn Good Reason – but they give the gig to some dude who retweets stuff for Ashton Kutcha.  Who the hell is Ashton Kutcha? Why I oughta…

Oh, what the hell. Dat’s Show Biz!


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