The Two Inviable Laws of Nature: Gravity and No Parking

NO PARKING– Not even if you are just dropping off a visiting high school student for a fraction of a second and the car will barely stop.  It could not stop at all.  It could keep rolling slowly forward.  So slowly it appears to be an optical illusion.  NO PARKING.

NO PARKING — Even if you are out-of-state or out-of-the-country and we shouldn’t blame you because you can’t read, write or speak English.  And forget being able to understand any of our intricate parking rules.  Doesn’t matter.  NO PARKING

NO PARKING — Not uphill, downhill or kitty-corner.  Not even if it’s not taking a space from anybody else.  Not even if it’s a made-up space that borrows just a teensy bit from a couple of adjacent spaces and maybe hangs over the slightest smidge into the handicapped space. NO PARKING.

NO PARKING– Not even if it’s a brilliant creation that is basically the motorcycle space cobbled together together with the spot that is used to power the electric golf carts. No exceptions. Even if you are a big donor who doesn’t even have a full-time student going here. NO PARKING.

We thank you in advance even though we are sure that you will ignore all of the above so we started writing your ticket as soon as your car appeared on the horizon.  Have a good one!