Schnitzelbank: The Greatest Drinking Song Since “Margaritaville”

3 Mar

Let’s put on our dirndl dresses

And point to things on a chart.

Why we do this, no one guesses

But hey it’s a drinking song — not art.

CHORUS

Ohhhhhh, we all love the Schnitzelbank.

It makes us mad as Queen Mab.

While I’m still conscious I want to thank

Whoever the hell’s calling me a cab.

Watch me point as they yell out lots of things

That we learned in kindergarten.

It all seems more fun when everyone sings

And drinks the night away in a noisy beer garden.

CHORUS — (REPEAT TOGETHER … SORT OF.)

The grocer, the priest, the ol’ wine seller,

The taxman, the juggler and two college deans

Sing as one in the quaint stein cellar.

Whatever the bloody blue hell that means.

CHORUS — ¬†(ALL OVER THE MAP AT THIS POINT BUT DO YOUR BEST.)

Schnitzelbank, what a super silly prank

You played on my brain to make it go blank.

At closing time the dudes all stank at the Schnitzelbank.

Blame it on the Schnitzelbank, the mother lovin’ Schnitzelbank.

FINAL CHORUS — (JUST THE DESIGNATED DRIVERS.)

 

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