The Most Addictive Video Game of All Time

18 Mar

MONK DISTURBIA

Objective: To disturb Monk so completely he is unable to Reach Enlightenment.

Long-haired Jaggies may leap to Confessional Hole and yell profanities at the Monk in hopes of breaking his concentration and thus destroying his connection with the Higher Life Force.

Jaggies may only use metaphysical powers to antagonize the Holy Man. They may activate their Super Shouts if Monk is not making eye contact.  Blue-shelling will nullify their Super-Shout for remainder of the game. If they Wake the Witch during a Fetch-Quest they will be transformed into Amber Silk Worms. As ASBs, they may slither past Monk but this will never push his loss-of-focus past Flicker State.

Cheesies (Jaggies who have yet to notice the Hole-in-the-Screen Attack) torment each other for reasons that will only be revealed at the conclusion of the game, or never.  If any Cheesy reaches Code Level Azure he becomes a Semi-Sub Creature for half the duration of half of the remaining game.

If surrounded by Monk’s Minions this Subby can be fed to the Darkening Force. If the DF reaches the critical phase, it can explode and turn everyone but Monk and two Minionistas back into Jaggies. A flood of  Jaggies may overwhelm the Monk if his head is turned, but this will only devolve him to the state of Novitiate.

Game over when Monk is turned into a Pillar of Deku Tree ashes or flies away to Paradise. (WARNING: Effects used in this game may cause blindness, hearing loss, or death. Please adjust sound accordingly. Not recommended for play the night before taking your SATs.  This game may not be played in conjunction with Attack All Atheists or any other Massive Multi-player On-Line Game).

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