Arch-enemy # 1 of the AARP

25 Mar

Billy, Billy, Billy,

We guess you could be William E. like it says in the Big Ol’ Internet Address Book where we finally tracked you down but we feel a more familial connection.  We figured out that you are trying to avoid joining AARP because like millions of other Boomers you think that everyone else who is your age is old but not you.  You still act young and think young.  You’re hip.  High school students don’t look at you like you’re somebody in a Barney costume or worse a Member’s Only jacket.  Why you’re too young to be a grandfather type.  (Even though a lot of your contemporaries are.)

Really?… Really?  Wake up and smell the Ben Gay, buddy boy.  Pissing straight as a rope.  Eating anything you want at any time of the day or night. Chasing down a toddler.  Playing one-on-one. (Forget winning.)  Getting through the entire day without wanting to lay down for a few minutes.  Those days are gone, mi amigo.  Just like two dollar gas and madras shirts.

Maturity.  It’s the ultimate reality show.  What the heck we’ll still call you, Billy.  And if you don’t mind the smirks you can still dance at weddings.  Give us a buzz ASAP at AARP.

Love,

Y0ur Peers

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