The Toughest Show Runner in The Biz

15 Apr

“Okay, water bottles and nerf balls down, please.  As you know there was a creative differences discussion – okay, shouting match – between Executive  Producer, Phil Slater and our star, Clarice Sutton-Baseman over how her character, Clarice Mitchell could sweep her front porch in the funniest way possible.  Phil has left the show.  If you want to contact Phil he’s in intensive care at Cedars.  Clarice assured me how much she loves everyone else on staff here at CLARICE!  The sweeping scene is now a mopping scene.  Without further ado I turn you over to our new Show Runner, Magda Rabinowitz!”

Thank you, Corky.  Good morning, boys and girl.  It is with great honor that I take the helm of this Ship of Comedy.  I have been brought up to speed on how your show – now my show – CLARICE has been run up until now.  Those days are over.  I am never brought on to a show unless it is in the deepest of doo-doo, if you get my drift?  

I have consulted on everything from AMEN!  to THE MIDDLE, and in that time I have developed a few simple rules:

1) We work through lunch. Everyone can eat and make a show at the same time. It’s not brain surgery.

2) 2f you side-track from talking about this week’s episode there had better be a “B” story in it for CLARICE!  

3) Feel free to pitch whatever pops into your noggin.  But if nobody laughs let it go.  This isn’t the Alamo.  It’s no place to draw lines in the sand.  

4). You can’t have enough stories.  That’s the gold we’re panning for.  You should have your ears open 24/7 for anything that could be an episode of  CLARICE! 

5) Finally, have fun.  If I sense for a moment that you’re not having fun– you’re fired!  … Oh, didn’t I do that just like Trump?  I practiced it in the mirror all morning. 

Okay, let’s have lunch and discuss what’s funny about Clarice’s long lost father waking up from a twenty year coma.    

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