Why I Don’t Like Islands

22 Apr

Not enough movie theaters.

No major league sports teams (except Vancouver at one time – but since they lost it to a city in the southern region of the good ol’ USA, I say to hell with ’em).

In order to get to one of them you have to take a boat or plane or be washed up there after your cruise ship is torpedoed by pirates, none of which I like to do very much.

Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink.  (This is not a major bother but how often do you get to use that sentence anymore?)

With even a hypothetical island people are always bugging you about what’s the one thing you would take there.

Pirates dig up your backyard. And then other pirates drop by to find where the original pirates buried their treasure.  But without fail they don’t find the first “X marks the spot” location, so they just leave behind big holes and the bodies of innocent folks that you have to dispose of.

I sort of like Manhattan – but in August, include me out.

I do like Gilligan’s Island.  Not so much the show – but the fake tv island.  It was on a backlot not far from the Studio City McDonalds.  The same lot where they shot Seinfeld.  So sometimes you could spot a faux island and George Costanza on the same day.  Now, that’s an island.

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