Johannes Brahms: The Lullaby Guy

27 Apr

“La, la, la– la, la, la go to sleep little angel…”

“Halt!  Cease and desist or I shall set upon your sickly larynx and crush it with my walking stick.”

“What the hell? Who are you?  What are you doing in the baby’s room.  I’ve got a bat under the bed and 911 on speed dial.”

“What idle threats and epithets you make towards the great Johannes Brahms, I know not.  But I am the composer extraordinaire of those– la, la, las. Music that you are stealing and butchering simultaneously.  Stop this very moment.”

“Are you a ghost?  ‘Cause I ain’t afraid of no ghost.”

“No, I am merely the original composer of that composition.  I am sick and tired of my intellectual property being stolen by any cretin whose loins have created more idiot off-spring to burden the world further.”

“So, what do you want royalties or residuals or something? This lullaby is in public domain.  I don’t owe you squat.”

“Then I will be forced to smite you with a thunderbolt and curse the babe to eternal damnation!”

“Holy crap, you can do that?”

“Try me.”

“All right, all right here’s ten bucks.”

“And here is your change.  I’m an artist not a highwayman.  Proceed with your musical travesty.  Gut nacht.”


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