The Greatest Slogan Contest Within 25 Miles of My House.

2 May

Note: For the almost six billion people who don’t live near Goleta, it is a lovely town just north of Santa Barbara where all my kids have gone to high school.  I eat lunch there every weekday (shout out to Mika’s), and it is a very pretty burg if you are in need of a Costco-sized package of paper towels. Many of these jokes (aka “statements-of-fact”) may not be funny if you don’t live here; if that’s the case,  just fill in the name of the Goleta near you.  It’s not a place, it’s a state of mind. And now, a slogan contest with only one contestant.

Goleta: The last really great rest stop before Buellton.

Goleta: It’s not just a place to drop off your high school students anymore.

Goleta: Twenty miles closer to San Francisco.

Goleta: Where Lemon Festivals are just a fact of life.

Goleta: If you’ve got the time, we’ve got the bowling.

Goleta: Paris without all those long climbs up the Eiffel Tower.

Goleta:  Columbus never landed here but what if he had? (He could have — we have a beach)

Goleta:  We put the “anity” back in Christianity.

Goleta: I came for the Lemon Festival but I stayed for the high-tech light-industrial area.

Goleta: When you get sick of fancy-shmancy hotels and rich, beautiful people – we’re right next-door.

Goleta: Used bookstores, Kaplan testing, driving ranges ‘n’ more.

Goleta: Sorta like Carp – only our name is never shortened to something that sounds lame.

Goleta: We inhale the same fresh air as Isla Vista but we don’t have beer on our breath.

Goleta: It starts with “Go” but we’d love it if you stay.


One Response to “The Greatest Slogan Contest Within 25 Miles of My House.”

  1. Jamie May 2, 2011 at 11:34 PM #

    Sweet! The Goodland… love your slogans.

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