An Amazing Supernatural Letter from Medieval Times

31 May

 

Dear People of the Future,

Help! I am stuck here in the dark ages.  No, I am not from your present (my future) flung into the past by some curse.  I was born here.  Barring some miracle (and I don’t count someone who is pretending to be dead so people will beg him to be alive again who leaps to his feet after some wandering wizard spouts some mumbo jumbo over him as a miracle) here I will die.

But is that fair? I’m a nice person.  Kind to animals.  Decent to one and all. But what has that gotten me?  Sure I get to slave over beautiful manuscripts.  It is said that you can almost see the face of God in my work.  But that’s about it.

The food here is filling but would you go to a pub called Filling? Why am I here while you are there?

Just a trick of fate. Just because my ancestors were born before 1066 and yours long after.  Yes, it’s possible that by your time the Mongols will have swept through all of Europe pillaging and killing everything in their path. But hey I’ll take my chances that I’ll have to learn Chinese.  Little Chinese kids do it all the time.  My bet is that the Mongols never make it past Rome.

Why do I want to live in the future?  I just feel it in my bones that it’s going to be faster, louder, brighter and that maybe I’ll get a chance to see a woman’s knee before I die. I almost despair that this will ever get to you but you are my only hope. It’s just a message in a bottle bobbing in an endless sea.

Obediently yours,

Brother Jerome

Note: As I finished this story I’m Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter came up on my I-pod shuffle.  Weird.

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2 Responses to “An Amazing Supernatural Letter from Medieval Times”

  1. Jamie April 5, 2012 at 7:42 AM #

    This rocks. And where do you get pictures such as this one?

  2. Sioux Steinkellner May 14, 2012 at 6:53 PM #

    VERY CLEVER, BILL, YOU WORDSMITH YOU! I LOVE THIS POSTCARD—WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU GET IT? SIOUX

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