There’s a New High Priestess in Town

3 Jun

“Thank you for the daffodils, whoever brought them. Roses are such a cliche, don’t you think?  I’m afraid I lost the card that was with them but the thought was very sweet. A warning to whoever brought the chocolate covered cherries — I am trying to cut down on sweets so that I don’t have to keep moving up a gown size every time I turn around. Whoever made the luscious looking brownies — I am allergic to walnuts, sorry.  And the bearer of the tiny dead bunny really does not know me very well.”

“Now, on to my responses to your entreaties– yes, yes you all love me for who I am but I am too old to kid myself — so on with it.  Mrs. Alexander Graham Bell College should win over the Pacific School of Advanced Tech. But only if they try with all their hearts and don’t turn over the ball so much in the last quarter.”

“Alfonso you will never win the love of Lupe. I have put much time into this and it is futile.  She want to have kids and you don’t. So it’s pretty much a non-starter.  I know the heart wants what the heart wants but in this case the heart is an idiot.”

“Mr. Newman, I think if you retrace your steps you will find your glasses next to the furnace on top of yesterday’s Wall St. Journal.”

“Corky, I can’t and won’t strike someone blind no matter how insufferable they have been to you at work. If in the not too distant future they lose their sight it is because of genetics and not divine retribution.”

“You may all kiss my feet for five minutes and then I have to go.  I have a meeting with the God of Fools.  Now, that is a busy man!”

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One Response to “There’s a New High Priestess in Town”

  1. Jamie June 4, 2011 at 11:10 AM #

    Ha! Brilliant.

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