A Bunch of Eerily White Rejectees Sittin’ Round Talkin’ ‘Bout Stanford

9 Jun

Note: This was written four years ago when Teddy Steinkellner was a freshman at Stanford.  He graduates in a few days. This is a tribute to him and his hard working colleagues.

“No, we will not be attending Leland Stanford Jr. University.”

“We laugh at the very idea — ha—ha–ha–ha … where was I?  Oh, yes ha!”

“We choose non-attendance because Stanford offers too many things to learn and enjoy.”

“Yes, with so many things to enjoy we would not have any enjoyment.”

“With all these supposedly fun seminars, classes and extra terrestrial… I mean extracurricular activities…”

“So many activities.”

“Yes, but how would you focus on the important things in life?”

“Like world domination… And by that I mean dominating the earth personality that you are born with when you are born on earth and not some place else.”

“Exactly. How would you have time to proceed to success so that your Mother Thing and Father Thing can make proud noises about you?”

“Of course, any Fungidactylpod knows that.”

“You are smart and funny. Ha — ha … et cetera.”

“So, thank you but I must remove that thank-you from consideration because there is no way my pal-chums can be talked into a tour of Flo Mo.  No mo coaxing, please.”

“Yes, cut us some breaks.  We can’t be diverted from the Invasion.”

“Uh… because we need to invade one of the U.C.s for a well-rounded focused education.”

“Wait a second Kronton Chedelwix Iraqwar, did you see this brochure?  Look at the vast number of  acappella groups Stanford has!”

“WTF?! I have to make a really long distance call… Shazzbat, I forgot our carrier is Verizon.”




One Response to “A Bunch of Eerily White Rejectees Sittin’ Round Talkin’ ‘Bout Stanford”

  1. Books are my Boyfriends June 9, 2011 at 11:56 PM #


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