Br’er Writer and the Goldang Sure Thing Slamdunkarino

16 Jun

Joel Chandler Harris, the creator of the Uncle Remus stories died in 1908.  No one would ever think to parody his style, nowadays. But for this story I think it is fun and darn near ‘propriate.

Br’er Writer was toolin’ along in his Beemer one fine day when Br’er Agent buzzed in.

“Haloo Br’er Writer, whazzup with you this fine day?”

Br’er Writer, always mighty ‘spicious of any buddy-buddy types in Hollywooly Land sez he’s doin’ mighty okay and dis and dat.

But Br’er Agent does some fancy dancin’, pie in the sky, wouldn’t it be marvy to get a bran’ spankin’ new beemer and dis and dat.  And in a twinklin’ Br’er Writer has done agreed to conjure up a story that they can attach to Br’er Star.

That  ‘complished they take this sparklin’ story to Br’er Tip Top Networth Execative.  If they snag him, he’ll throw money bags at the idea.  They’ll all make a Show for the folks in the Big Forest out dere.  And from that lots of folks will throw money bags at ’em. Tip Top flashes a green light and away dey go.

Now, Br’er Writer starts aponderin’ how to make this story sumpin’ that all Br’ers big and small, rich and poory poor might ‘preciate. But right in the middlesome of it he gets a whiff of a very bad smell. Like three day dead skunk.  The smell is a rumor dat B’rer Star might not be as populous wid Big Forest folks as once was thought.

Br’er Writer gets a big ugly deep down bad feelin’. Right to the tip of his tail.  He puts down his pen.  And commences to have a ginormous pow wow with Br’er Agent and B’rer Studious Executype Supremo. They blabber n’ blue sky and juggle money bags in fronta his eyes. Everyone thumbs-up a show with Br’er Star. Why it’s the next Goldang Sure Thing Slamdunkarino!

But acourse after two years of duplicatations and reverse bamboozles he finds out it ain’t.  Plugs are pulled and all the money bags are fulla nothin’.  The Goldang Sure Thing Slamdunkarino is jest a three day dead skunk.

MORAL: Don’t listen to Br’er Nobody once you get that big ugly deep down bad feelin’.



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