The Top Ten Secrets of Show Business Success.

22 Jun

Disclaimer: Many of the following secrets have a bias towards writers– but what –  I’m a lion-tamer?

1) Nothing will be a bigger hit than a TV show that appears “smart” but is, in fact, stupid enough for the viewer to follow while casually flipping through People or the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition.

2) An actor (especially a star) who has character motivation issues, whether real or imagined , always feels much better when given more lines. If these lines are surefire laugh-lines taken away from a supporting player, it’s even better. From the writer’s POV it may not get as big a laugh but at least you don’t have to come up with new material.

3) Young writers always want to write black comedy, anti-society diatribes, and satire.  They might as well try to sell three-day-old fish.

4) The public always thinks actors make up all the dialog that comes out of their faces.  They seldom realize it belongs to the names that follow the words “written by”.

5) Directors side with the actors.  There are two reasons for this a) they used to be actors or still are; and b) it’s the smart thing to do.

6) A show with a story is always better than one without a story.  This is why a mediocre musical beats a really good musical review.  Great stories are worth far more than gold.  But they are harder to find.

7) Jokes are always trashed by people who couldn’t think of one  if you put a gun to their head. Jokes are highly appreciated by people who think of them for a living.

8 ) There are no new jokes, only new audiences. The last new joke was by Demosthenes when the pebbles fell out of his mouth.  (Great sight-gag by the way.)

9) In show business only Producers and Studio Heads win the Man of the Year Award.  Nobody breaks this rule – not even the Pope.

10) Show-biz secrets always come in top tens like box-office grosses, Neilsen ratings and bestselling books.

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One Response to “The Top Ten Secrets of Show Business Success.”

  1. Dan Frischman June 13, 2013 at 3:41 AM #

    Great stuff and all too true! Request: Same topic heading, but the secrets are all of the time of the Majestic Theater photo (1928-ish?).

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