The Return of the Legendary Western.

23 Jun

Note: This card is postmarked 1905.

In case any producers get tired of reality shows (especially the ones involving cooking) here’s a genre that absolutely dominated the air waves many moons ago.  And it went something like this-

SCENE ONE.                                                                  BLACK BART

If you don’t git, Virginian, I’m afeered there might be some gunplay

that’ll leave you writhin’ in the dust like a sick, yella dog.

THE VIRGINIAN

So be it, Bart.  So be it.

BLACK BART REACHES FOR HIS SIX-SHOOTER.  THE VIRGINIAN IS TOO QUICK FOR HIM AND SHOOTS BARTS PISTOL OUT OF HIS HAND. WITH FURTHER SHOTS THE VIRGINIAN MAKES THE GUN DANCE UP THE STREET. BART THROWS HIS HANDS UP AS IF TO SURRENDER.  BUT WHEN THE VIRGINIAN LOWERS HIS GUN, BART PULLS OUT A DERRINGER. TOO LATE. OUR HERO SHOOTS HIM ONCE STRAIGHT THROUGH THE HEART.

 

SCENE TWO                                                                        LAREDO KID

Mister, I hear tell you’re the fastest gun west of the Pecos…

THE VIRGINIAN

Well, I ain’t been all that west of here but I shoot straight enough.

You got your whole life ahead of you, Kid. It’d be stupid if this was

your last day…

THE LAREDO KID NODS AND STARTS TO TIP HIS STETSON WITH RESPECT BUT THEN PULLS A SAWED-OFF SHOTGUN FROM BEHIND HIS BACK.  THE VIRGINIAN AS QUICK AS A RATTLER NAILS HIM WITH ONE SHOT. THE KID STAGGERS AND FALLS INTO A WATER FILLED HORSE TROUGH. THE WATER TURNS A DARK PINK.

REPEAT SCENES ONE AND TWO WITH VARIATIONS AS LONG AS NECESSARY.

LAST SCENE                                                       SCHOOL MARM

It’s a pity you couldn’t stay a little longer.  Any way

you have our heartfelt thanks.

THE VIRGINIAN

Thank, Slim.  He’s the Sheriff, now.

THE VIRGINIAN WHEELS HIS HORSE ABOUT ONE AND A HALF TIMES, TIPS HIS HAT TO THE SMALL GATHERING OF DECENT CITIZENS AND RIDES OFF INTO THE DYING SUN.

 

 

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