What It’s Like to be a Real Life Princess

28 Jun

“It’s shit to be a princess these days. Everyone thinks I’m sour graping them but it’s the truth.

The problem is the girls have an image in their heads that royal life is like The Princess Diaries.  What a load of crap. All those animated mice prancing around and singing… oh wait that was a different one.  No matter it’s a big load anyway.

Oh sure, when my gradmother was a princess it was a lot like the movies. Fancy dress balls every time you turned around. Black tie and tails,  ermine robes and gobs of jewelry as far as the eye could see. The Princes all looking like they just crossed a moat and were about to  step into an enchanted  forest.

And the Princesses were glorious.  Beautiful, brocaded, with hints of jewels.  Like God’s own wedding cake. Of course, it wasn’t all glamor. Tata Mamoushka insisted that lugging around all that ghastly heavy material once gave her a yeast infection.

…Now? I just sit around on my blue-blooded duff. My agent’s angling to get me an endorsement for some new Princess Spaghetti.  I hope I don’t have to eat any of the crap.  I did a local spot for Sonic and almost ended up with frost-bite of the tongue.”

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2 Responses to “What It’s Like to be a Real Life Princess”

  1. Linda Hiser (Norys) June 28, 2011 at 4:00 PM #

    I can relate!

  2. Meredith McMinn July 1, 2011 at 1:40 AM #

    It’s especially tough for a princess who looks like Winston Churchill in drag.

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