Why Cats Are Much Better Than Swans

14 Jul

When you are trying to take your Christmas card photo, swans won’t prevent the kids from driving you crazy because you can’t get them to sit still for twenty seconds.

Swans are of no use when you are trying to change the baby’s diaper in an airplane bathroom.

Don’t reach for a swan if you are in the middle of convincing a television star to say a simple line that they “just don’t get.”

Ask a swan if you should keep your present agent or move on to one that doesn’t have a conflict of interest and the swan will just stare blankly at you.  Or perhaps honk for food of some kind.

No matter how many swans you contact, no matter how highly placed in swandom they might be, they will be of no help when your child applies to get into a prestigious university.

Even though their unique layers of feathers and webbed feet make them virtually water proof, they are persona non grata when your plumbing goes haywire.

Swans are no good as baby sitters. (Cats would be better. The rumor that they steal a baby’s breath is just vicious.) Though, you could give swans a one-shot as a life-guard.

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