What it Takes to be a Movie Star: Old School Edition

19 Jul

Joan Crawford (Yes, the Joan Crawford not just some schlub who would use her image as his Facebook profile pic.) was tired, hungry and in the middle of a photo shoot for MGM. She had not made the big time yet but a lot of people thought she was right on the verge.  She could almost taste it.

“Turn this way, Joanie. Big smile. You got teeth in there dontcha?  You know who don’t?  The King.  Gable. Yessir as I live and breathe.”

Soon, she knew in her heart, the whole world would know who she was.  Not because of this dinky photo shoot but it would add to the momentum. Just as each tiny grain of sand makes up a beach.

“Good girl, Joanie.  Now give me a little come hither… Jesus, that’s your come hither?  It looks more like your getting thee to a nunnery…yeah, that’s better.”

Sitting in a pile of  stuffed animals trying to look coy was not her idea of glamour. It was hot. It seemed endless and she’d kill for a Scotch rocks.

But did she throw a fit and leave? Did she cry all afternoon when she got a gander at the chosen dress? Did she call her agent, manager, business manager, dialog coach or random friend from her entourage to bitch about it? Did she have a meeting of all her reps so she could rant about how unfair life is and how miserable she had been since the start of her career?  Did she finally agree to do it but then just phone it in?

“Just a few more, Joanie.  Give me the ol’ –All alone in my bedroom if I only you were here– look. Scrawny mouth breathers love that  kind of crap.  And they pay the bills, chickie. … Meh, I guess that’ll work”

Nope.  She just sucked it up and did her job.  But then Joan Crawford was a trouper. And she was a star.


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