Why the Hot Dogs and Whoever’s Singing The National Anthem Better Be Good.

26 Jul

This here’s the Mawpucket Maulers and our mascot, Lucky. We had great hopes at the start of the season.  We finished last year just four back and with a furious rush winning 12 of 13.  But we just came up a little short.

We had our great bunch coming back and had even added a phenom or two.  Our new skipper, Tommy “Tam” O’Shanter was full of piss and vinegar. And the owner, Major Sheridan T. Boggs even coughed up for a spankin’ new dug-out.

But then Stubbs McGuigan, our very own Sultan of Swat, stepped on his catcher’s mask and tore his foot all to hell. Our centerfield flash Kid O’Doul wouldn’t let up on a towering fly ball. He ran face first into the wall as the ball fell some ten rows up in the bleachers.  He mashed up his vision something terrible.  Now, he’s not much good for anything except getting hit by a pitch.

Fully three quarters of the starting staff got crunched when a heavy rain caused the dug-out to cave in. The Major is still blaming foolish rough housin’ and not the shoddy work of his brother-in-law.

As for me I was plenty healthy the first thirty games but then that bat spontaneously combusted and spelled the end of my season.

Needless to say we’re looking to trade our mascot, Lucky.





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