Bill Steinkellner’s List of Lists for Those Too Busy to Create Their Own.

3 Aug

I love to make up lists.  This is the epitome of that urge because it is a list of lists.

Alternate names for America.

Best make-0ut songs. (Not sure if people still make-out.  I’ve been off the market for some time.)

Nicknames (Corky, Four-eyes, Lefty, Fudgie.)

Don’t put that in the micro-wave!

Good presents for under five bucks. (A really short list.)

Facts you still remember from school. (In fourteen hundred and ninety two… and that’s about it.)

Never eat this!

Best smelling things. (bread baking, lilac bushes, a newborn’s head)

What to put in an old Vegas casino before they implode it.

It’s good/bad it’s bacon!

Worthy substitutes for fame and fortune. (Close to six billion folks need to know.)

Obscure body parts. (Islets of Langerhans, the wenis.)

Things that adults miss. (Tag, bending down without grunting, kissing games.)

Perennially cool stuff. (Alone on a beach, sunglasses, Lenny Bruce.)

Should be in the zoo.

Things that will still be here even after the Rapture. (Cockroaches, that barking dog next door.)

Weirder than Donald Trump’s hair.

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2 Responses to “Bill Steinkellner’s List of Lists for Those Too Busy to Create Their Own.”

  1. Grant Harvey August 3, 2011 at 6:43 PM #

    Other lists: “Things you did at night before you fell asleep at 9pm”

    “Dry Clean Only”
    “Dinosaur names you remember (Long necks, spike backs, tri-horns, Raptors)

    “Actual Dinosaur names you remember” (Tyrannosaurus Rex, Velocirpator…uh??)

    “Places you aren’t annoyed your cat gets on top of”

    “Types of vegetables you’ll eat by themselves”

    “Places to store a gun”

    “Ugly Dogs”

    “House hold appliances you don’t use nearly as much as you thought you would” (S’mores maker, Shaved Ice Machine, popcorn popper, waffle iron, blender (I mean, really? You’re that lazy?)

    “House hold appliances you use more than you should” (Microwave, microwave, microwave)

  2. Jeff Goodvin August 3, 2011 at 8:01 PM #

    At least someone felt like having a FROLIC a few years before the planet plunged into a world war, while bansk robbed some sod poor farmer who was only looking to plant some seed, or some johnny dillenger looking to rob the S and L Bank and loan.

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