Pretty Much All You Need to Know about Theater in The Golden State

24 Aug

Pictured here the first theater in California built some 164 years ago.  The following events anecdotally occurred there for the first time.

The first putting on make-up with a trowel  to turn an adolescent  into an old codger.

The first forty-five minute explanation of the character’s life all the way back from her golden wedding anniversary to the moment she was conceived on a rainy night in the back of a pick-up surrounded by melons headed for Boca Raton, just to get the actor to exit stage left.

The first prop requested in the first stage direction of the first play is purchased. It is totally the wrong size but the receipt for it is lost so it can’t be returned. It must be used any way since there is no money in the budget to get the right prop. When the review comes out the reviewer goes on and on about how this stupid prop ruined the play for him.

The first realization that the star’s need to understand the psychological underpinnings of his character is really just a request for more lines that get laughs.

After the first 116 plays are reviewed badly, the theater receives the first good review.  It will later be revealed that the review was written by the theater’s publicist under an assumed name.  It isn’t even a rave.

The first director misconstrues the first playwright’s intentions for the first time.  This will go on with very little let up for the next one hundred and sixty four years.

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