Great Moments in Raising Other People’s Kids: Der Musikdirektor

6 Oct

“It is not easy to make der musik mit der boys. Der Imperial Boys Orchestra is 24/7,yah? Many, many of der complications come up every day.– Nein. Every moment. They are like fleas mit der hund. All the time mit der running and jumping and total Kaos!”

“Und where is your piccolo? I might say to one dunderhead or another. Und they give der blank stare like a ghost. Like I am der cow or some idiot from a village.”

“Or I find a flute stuck in a tree or a drum floating down the Rhine. Und where are the owners? One is playing the hide and go find or he’s wandered into a Bratwurst Fest. Another one is having der tears on der phone because he ist sick and missing der Momma und Poppa.”

“Sometimes it hits them that all the things that they lieb are back home. Their hearts grow as heavy as der gross bass fiddle. And with all this mishegoss who makes all kinder show up with der smiling punims and der kilts with no shmutz? You ist looking at him, Buddy.”

I should have listened to my Poppa and gone into der Wehrmacht.”

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