Forget Neighborhood Watch — God is 365/24-7.

26 Oct


He is there when you wolf down that chocolate eclair that you “absolutely do not need”.

He is there when you hurriedly rush in the wrong door at Gelson’s so you don’t have to pass the old guy collecting for the poor or the homeless or whoever the hell they are collecting for this week.

He is there when you ignore the baby’s poo poo diaper until Mom gets home.

He is there when the cashier hands you change for a twenty though you only gave her a ten. And then you rush out the entrance door avoiding eye contact.

He is there when you put off writing your birthday thank-yous so long that it would be stupid to send them now.

He is there when you cut your wheels too close while parallel parking and set off somebody’s car alarm.

He is there when you put back the carton of milk with less than a swallow still in it.

He is there when you text somebody back while stopped at a light “just for a second.” He is also there a minute later to welcome you into the after-life.

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3 Responses to “Forget Neighborhood Watch — God is 365/24-7.”

  1. Sioux October 26, 2011 at 5:40 PM #

    I loved, loved, loved this. I felt 7 years old again with Sister Stella’s voice in my head saying–GOD SEES ALL! A great deterrent to pre-marital sex.

    • Sioux October 27, 2011 at 9:08 PM #

      What does moderation mesn

  2. Jamie October 26, 2011 at 8:56 PM #

    I love the poo poo diaper one. I hope all the poo poo diapers I have changed in my life will count in my favor when we meet. (But I NEVER text and drive.)

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