Note to the New Millennium Baby Sitter.

3 Nov

Don’t juggle the baby. A new medical report emphasizes that the young digestive system is still developing.

Don’t invite your Facebook friends over for a flash masquerade ball. The baby is still in a delicate transitional stage where the line between fantasy and reality is blurred often enough as it is.

Do not give the baby any martinis, Brandy Alexanders or a Stoli rocks no matter how much you are pressured into it. That note giving permission is a blatant forgery. FYI adults almost never write in crayon.

Don’t invite Ryan Seacrest or Usher over for a play-date. They are not the baby’s uncles.

There are hundreds of fairy tales or Berenstain Bears books to use for a bedtime story. Do not read from “The Big Book of Mass Murderers” or Stephen King’s “It”. The baby is not working on a book report for pre-school.

There’s flourless chocolate cake in the fridge. Have fun!

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One Response to “Note to the New Millennium Baby Sitter.”

  1. Sioux November 3, 2011 at 3:04 PM #

    Very funny. You just get better and better! Save me a piece of that flour less chocolate cake. Love, Sioux

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