Why God Doesn’t Go to Church.

14 Dec

1) To what praise Himself/Herself? (Does God have sex organs so we can make this distinction? Or is God a hermaphrodite or a eunuch? Some traditions believe in a virgin birth where God had relations with a woman so
He is likely to be hetero. By the way, if there had been more discussions like this when I was a kid I would have spent more time in church.)

2) Unless you like sermons by fairly pedestrian speakers, prayers written long before the ancestors of these sermonizers and hymns sung by American Idol wannabes what would the attraction be?

3) You have to wear itchy clothes. Of course, as Supreme Being he can wear what he wants. (Or if you believe in the Holy Trinity ie. Three Persons in One God – They can wear anything They want. But what’s up with that? Do They have to call each Other to make sure They aren’t wearing the same blue work shirt and khaki pants? Of course, that’s just Santa Barbara. In L.A They’d be all cool in black and in Honolulu They’d be in their best Hawaiian shirt. Who can say what God would wear to a meeting of humans to honor Himself?)

4) He doesn’t have a wife to make him go.

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