What God Does Not Like: A Primer for a New Millennium.

9 Jan


Contrary to the popular belief that beliefs are founded on bedrock, in most cases this is not true. Popularity changes over time. What used to be hot after awhile becomes definitely not. (A phenomena that I’m relying on in regards to the tv show Jersey Shore.)

God does not like many of the things that people seem to think he likes. For sure He no longer wants lambs killed in His name.

He doesn’t want children’s blood on His conscience, either. (It’s been a long time since this was popular but you know people, bad things have a way of coming back in style. Those stupid fedoras that guys wore a long time ago are trendy again. You can’t wear a fedora unless you fought in World War Two.)

He’d rather you didn’t dedicate wars or sport’s victories to Him. (He admits that he likes Tebow but insists that he doesn’t have His thumb on the scale either way. Also, some of the angels say that half the time he pronounces it –Tivo.)

And please, please no more opening sessions of Congress in His name. He considers this the Nth degree of hypocrisy.

Prayers are nice but like most folks he’d rather have a home-made one than some of that canned stuff you find in prayer books.

He does not like most religious programming. He did like Bishop Fulton J. Sheen because that guy was just flat out funny. God finds it annoying that you can only find him on You Tube if you’re lucky.

God is not too thrilled with most organized religions and can only really tolerate them when they somehow manage to ease poverty and misery without having to convert anybody to anything.

God still doesn’t know how Scientology got to be a religion with all the tax benefits.

There’s a lot of other things but well… see you on Judgement Day!

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2 Responses to “What God Does Not Like: A Primer for a New Millennium.”

  1. SiouxP January 9, 2012 at 8:50 PM #

    Great post—-especially the Tebow. I’m ashamed to say that I thought his name was TiVo! I haven’t thought of Fulton J. Sheen in decades. I used to watch him on T.V w/my
    Parents. He was an imposing figure in his vestments— eyes that seemed to look into your soul–and that voice. My Mother thought he was handsome– she was an Episcopalian. Religion was not discussed in our home—so Sheen was an interesting
    Exception. Love, Sioux 🙂

  2. kay January 12, 2012 at 11:25 PM #

    I’m wearing a fedora.
    Uh-oh.

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