False Advertising on the Legendary Sexual Paradise of Santa Monica Boulevard

31 Jan

“I’m here about your sign.”

“We’re not hiring no more. Besides Wanda does all the personnel and she’s off Wednesdays. So, vamoose.”

“No, no, the sign says that this is a sexual catharsis center?”

“Oh, yeah are you a cop? Because our license is in perfect order. All our ladies are American … or legal aliens… or whatever the law requires.”

“No, I’m not a cop. I’m just a potential customer or client or whatchamacallit. I just need an explanation of sexual catharsis.”

“It says sexual catharsis, huh? I never looked. I like to keep my head down and my nose out of other people’s beeswax. You do that and sometimes you find a dime. But mostly you stay out of trouble.”

“Okay, but … it does say sexual catharsis quite plainly…”

“Okay, I’m thinkin’…First off it is totally legal and well within the community standards of the community …
of our section of Santa Monica Boulevard. And it doesn’t say sexual catharsis is guaranteed. We are a center but not a certifier of your sex being cathartic. Could hit the jackpot. Could fail. Not our fault either way.”

“Well, what can you guarantee?”

“We guarantee you’ll uh, … get off.”

“Sounds good. What can I get for ten bucks?”

“Ten bucks!? Beat it and don’t let me see your punk face ever again. … Some people… Wants a sexual catharsis for ten bucks. That don’t buy you two minutes of sexual confusion in this berg, Pally.”


2 Responses to “False Advertising on the Legendary Sexual Paradise of Santa Monica Boulevard”

  1. Jonathan Stark February 1, 2012 at 9:41 AM #

    Actually, ‘catharsis’ can mean a purification resulting in the release of tension, So, I suppose it could apply.

  2. SiouxP February 26, 2012 at 4:48 PM #

    Wouldn’t you love to see the live & sexy girls that worked there—-also a pic of the
    interior? I’m looking at the decorations on the building — looks like a field of magic
    mushrooms—–hmmm a multiple-purpose facility perhaps. LOL Sioux. 🙂

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