Greetings From Bill: Time Travel Part Two

3 Feb

“Hi, everybody. It’s Bill Steinkellner, again. I’m traveling through time several decades ago. I’m still living in the era where if I get a parking ticket it will absolutely ruin my day. I can’t afford books so I go to the Hollywood Library a lot. If I’m hot and sweaty it means I’ve been playing hoops with Stan Wells. I wonder if I’ll ever have kids. And if I do will they like basketball?”

“As long as they’re funny. God what if they aren’t? What if they are totally humorless like the first landlady I had when I first came to Hollywood? (I actually “landed” in North Hollywood. Sort of like Columbus landing in the West Indies and they still gave him credit for discovering America. Of course, there were also millions of people here for thousands of years already so… whatever.)

“I know my kids will be smart and focussed because look who I picked out to be their mother. They can’t miss. I’ll teach them how to do improv if that seems like something they’d like to do.”

“It’s hard to believe I’m going to be in California much longer. I think any year now I’ll be headed back to Chicago. I’ll miss being able to play basketball outside in the middle of February and the Beverly Hills Cafe.
But I won’t miss not earning any money as a writer. That is the pits.”

“But I’m feeling pretty good about winning that humor writing contest in Playboy. I think that’s the career break I’ve been looking for.”

It wasn’t. My career would not break or even bend for the next three years. But luckily those kids were born with a sense of humor and all the smartness and focus that I was hoping they’d get from their legendary mother.

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2 Responses to “Greetings From Bill: Time Travel Part Two”

  1. Jonathan Stark February 3, 2012 at 6:32 PM #

    I was fortunate enough to be given both Volume 1 and 2 and they now reside on my family room bookshelf. On occasion, I take them out and show guests. They always like to spend time thumbing through them.

  2. SiouxP February 4, 2012 at 4:14 PM #

    You took a lot of risks—cycling across country w/o much encouragement. Then leaving all you knew for the Great Unknown! But pat yourself on the back for your “great” intuition” @ the right course to follow. The 4 great “Cs”—California, Career, CHERI, and Children. CHEERS for hanging in there and having the guts to take risks, even though you are so far away and we miss you all! LOL. Sioux. 🙂

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