So You Think You Can Run a Network Television Show and Earn the Big Bucks?

28 Feb

So, you think you could do a better job than those guys who grabbed the brass ring and are now driving around Palm Desert in their Lexus convertibles?

Consider those poor shmos who had to be in charge of The Time Tunnel. Your two male leads are mannequins. One of the guys isn’t too bad. He asks about his motivation too much but mostly he’s just happy to have this gig so he can play a lot of golf during hiatus.

But the other lead is James Darren. Not only is he a big wooden nothing with a nice smile but he is also a MOVIE STAR. (If being the non-title star of Gidget Goes Hawaiian counts.) James may like to throw his weight around and he’s not shy about asking for his “emotional trajectory” on day one of the Pilot.
Of course, it’s all your fault because you should have noticed that his autograph is five times the size of the rest of the cast. “Get out the way”, John Hancock!

Your female lead is Lee Merriweather. In real life she was a Miss America. (If you think of that as real life.) This means she needs to get dolled up all the time. You explain to her that as a scientist she has to wear a lab coat. After the 1,000th blank look the writers have to figure out a million witty reasons for her to remove the lab coat and why she’s so glammery all the time.

Whitt Bissel has appeared in so many sci fi movies that he is always taking issue with the basic premise of the series.

The other guy in a lab coat has the least clout but as with most actors in lab coats feels like he can be Ass #1 at the drop of a hat.

Add in the period costumes, constant time travel arguments (Doesn’t everyone know we can’t save Lincoln from assassination? If I have Genghis Khan’s DNA shouldn’t I look more like him?) and you’ve got a mondo migraine.

The only thing you got going for you is that cool psychedelic/hypno wheel in the background.


4 Responses to “So You Think You Can Run a Network Television Show and Earn the Big Bucks?”

  1. Jonathan Stark February 28, 2012 at 6:47 PM #

    The ‘guy in the lab coat’ was character actor John Zaremba who started out playing a doctor in the 50s and probably played more doctors in his career than any other actor in history. Also some trivia, the announcer of the series was Dick Tufeld who also was the voice of ‘The Robot’ from ‘Lost in Space’.

  2. SiouxP February 28, 2012 at 8:35 PM #

    Yeah, but what a fantastically cool psychedelic/hypno wheel it is. I haven’t thought @
    Lee Merriweather in ages. Wasn’t she in a detective series w/ Buddy Epsom?
    Love, Sioux. πŸ™‚

  3. SiouxP February 28, 2012 at 9:19 PM #

    I’m losing my mind——It’s Buddy Ebsen instead of Buddy Epsom Salts! Did you actually see The Time Tunnel? I didn’t. Incidentally, I took another look at Pill Garlic.
    He has a really cute face. Should I be worried? LOL, Sioux. πŸ™‚

  4. kay February 29, 2012 at 12:45 AM #

    It takes a real visionary to put that guy with the tweed suit, in a yellow tie. Producing is all in the details…

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