Inside Secrets of Show Business: Lesson #1- Negotiating the Entertainment Contract

12 Mar

Interested parties will henceforth find the contracts between the Sisters Dare and whomsoever was wise enough to seek their services as thespians.”

1. Misses Zena and Phyllis (herein referred to as “the ladies or stars” for brevity and clarity’s sake.) shall have free standing dressing rooms equal in size, location and prestige.

2. The stars shall be provided with all the proper amenities. In addition if there are amenities that are conducive to one personality (For instance– Miss Zena’s affinity for nougat.) the other star will be compensated with an equal measure of “goodies”. (For instance– marzipan or fudge.) These will always be in addition to, never instead of the normal amenities.

3. In the script the stars will be provided with an equal number of lines, jokes, bits of “business” and emotional climaxes. Each line will have exactly the same amount of words. Each word may have a varying amount of letters within reason. (We acknowledge that the writer may need to use differing sounds for the sake of “spice” or to show variations of personality between the two ladies. However, though word length may differ the sum total of phonemes shall remain exactly the same.)

4. Stars shall be given punch-lines only. No onerous “setting up” of jokes will ever be required.

5. No unpaid promos shall be provided by the stars. The sole exemption is when they are cross-promoting a project from their production company.

6. No attempt shall be made to get them to smile without their expressed, written permission.

7. In the likely event of this project’s success the present contract shall be null and void. Negotiations for a new and improved contract shall commence immediately.

This contract will be deemed in effect when both stars have consented to leave their respective trailers.


One Response to “Inside Secrets of Show Business: Lesson #1- Negotiating the Entertainment Contract”

  1. Grant Harvey April 6, 2012 at 10:25 AM #

    Something to look forward to I suppose

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