The Return of Kit Steinkellner’s Sort of #1 Fan.

14 Mar

“Hey, Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! Kitty Cat Kitster…Kiss her? No, but I’d sure like to.–Hah, (JK) … unless you’d… never mind.”

“Guess what? Urrrrp, sorry. That really rattled the old cerebralissimo. I think I’m seeing stars.”

“Oh, wait that’s just a li’l kitty cat. That’s just my way of shayin… I mean sayin’ YOU!”

“Anywho did I say guess what already? Urrrrp, third time’s the charm. So, you can skip the part where you say –what– when I say you know, Mmmph what? Man, I am so shit for brains. Just like that crappy big brother of mine who used to beat the crap out of me for ruinin’ his cashmere sweater when I wore it to play touch football.”

“Oh, geez hold your hat this could be very inappropriate– urp. Hey, not so bad. Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!
… Oh, dude I just cut the cheese in front of the classiest chick at UCLA. Sorrrysorrysorrysorry.”

“Well, now I’m just dead. Smoked. Throw dirt on my head and be done with it.”

“Just for the record I was celebratin’ you winning that New York City writing contest. I was a little wasted when I woke up but then I just killed a keg in your honor…”

“No, need to thank me. Just, you know break a leg… Hey, how come the floor is jumping up into my face?
Owwwwwwwwww! Crap. Crap. Oh, dude, dizzy as a maggot. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

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