How to Have a Good Day No Matter How Much Tsouris Is Making You Meschugge.

15 Mar

Jesus was having a bad day. His mouth tasted all gnarly from that cheap wine that Judas had scrounged up for last night’s feast. (And he had a bad feeling there was a kickback involved somewhere along the line. He tried to have good thoughts about people whether they be thieves or High Priests but Judas never made it easy.)

The day was already scorching and he had to wear the same funky cloak as yesterday because nobody had been in charge of cleaning the spare.

He looked at his crew and his heart sank. Were these guys going to step up when push came to shove? He gave one of those long heart rending sighs that no one ever wants to hear come from their Leader’s lips.

Barely dawn and the poor, lame and blind were starting to line up. The word of mouth on yesterday’s miracles must have zipped into this village in record time.

He already had a migraine and the clouds of camel dust kicked up by impatient penitents wasn’t helping.

Suddenly he was struck by a bolt. (Not a real one but it could happen.) Jesus jumped up and ran to the River Jordan. He took a tentative step. Then a few more. And before you know it he was walking on the water. “Boo-yah”!

Moral: Sometimes showing off makes you feel better.

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One Response to “How to Have a Good Day No Matter How Much Tsouris Is Making You Meschugge.”

  1. SiouxP March 15, 2012 at 6:03 PM #

    Hysterical! Very funny post. Perhaps we are seeing a glimpse of a 2nd career here! OR another blog. You could kick it off w/a contest–Choose the Title of New Blog:
    1. Bill’s Bible Blurbs
    2. Bill’s Exegesis for Everyone
    3 Montecito Miracles–a new take on the New Testament

    love, Sioux 🙂

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