A Guide For Viewers Who Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead Watching One of Their Slapstick Fests to the Artistry of The Three Stooges.

20 Mar

The story always begins with the initiating action. The cue for this is “where are those three (whatevers) we sent for?”. In today’s film the (whatevers) are house painters but the same would apply to
bakers, door-to-door salesman, career diplomats ad infinitum.

Many film enthusiasts confuse the initiating action with the precipitating action. However, the precipitating action always comes after the former. It usually begins with something along the lines of Larry swinging an oversized two by four. (or long plumber’s pipe or surfboard. — Though, a surfboard would seem like a long shot in an original Stooges. Perhaps in the new Stooges movie?– See you at the opening midnight show!) Larry accidentally hits Moe in the face.

This action invariably causes the by-stander, Curly, to laugh or technically “snerk”. (Note: not “Nyuck, nyuck, nyucking” which always occurs three beats after the denouement.)

Moe reacts to Curly’s jocular humiliation by boinking him on the head. (“boinking” in the old school sense of a hard chopping blow to the cranium, not the more salacious slang popularized by the tv show as a euphemism for pre-marital sex.)

This assault on his brain case causes Curly to “Whoo-whoo-whoo” himself into a state of extreme unreason. After spinning a few times (often in one direction but not limited to that) Curly launches himself toward Moe. He misses and clobbers Larry instead.

The force of Curly’s assault forces Larry into a blind retreat where he steps into a bucket of paint or glue. (In the new film the bucket will be filled with some up-dated substance like pheremones, stem cells or nano-bots.)

The precipitating action having achieved closure the film moves on to the all important indiscriminate mayhem. Wild mayhem will now engulf the film from this point until the end which will be signified by the venerable strains of Three Blind Mice.

We hope this will enhance your viewing pleasure. For optimal enjoyment please leave your girl friend, sister or Mom at home.

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