Tamara Unleashed or What Work of Art is Bill Steinkellner Ruining with His Dumb Salacious Stories?

14 May

Today I finished the portrait of the Duchess De La Salle. Her personal tastes include mannish black garb, huge dogs and comely persons of the same sex. This I deduced from two incidents.

The first occurred during our initial sitting. (The piece was commissioned by her husband. A decision I think he will regret when it is hung in his bedroom and her image looms over his sleeping area like a lighthouse beacon. But my parentheses digress…) Anya, the young chambermaid had entered without knocking. The Duchess became furious almost to the point of striking the little faun. Then once the naif was reduced to tears the Duchess apologized profusely raining soft kisses upon her face all the while.

The other event transpired moments after the completion of her portrait. The Duchess brushed by me to view it more closely.
The touch was tres light but the feeling was as if two great plates of the earth were slowly shifting before settling into place. I feigned a brief dizzy spell. That is all, I fear, that prevented a momentous scene of enormous impropriety.

I rushed away to cash the Duke’s check before the bank closed.


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