What Mom is Doing for Memorial Day Week-end (besides bumping her head on that glass ceiling.)

25 May

We can’t be Pope.

We can’t even be priests. (Well, maybe sometime in the next 2,000 years.)

We can’t be major league baseball players. (Even if we take a whole bunch of steroids. BTW it is obvious that this is written by a man because we would never stoop to using the phrase “whole bunch of steroids”.)

We can’t play golf at Augusta National where the Masters is played because a genius named “Hootie” says we can’t.

We can’t get 25 million dollars for starring in a movie like some male stars.

We can win an Oscar for Best Director once every 84 years like clockwork but there better be an awful lot of guys in it.

We can have raw power in a movie but it has to be rated XXX.

We can’t be POTUS. (Yet.)

The most powerful representative of our group is Oprah. (Oprah is great but come on, Oprah?)

And just when we started to make real progress in the world they started outsourcing all our jobs.

We could go on with this list but first we have to make dinner, call in sick for people, make the doctor’s appointments, apologize, dress the kids, go to church, remind everyone of everything, drive everyone everywhere they have to go and act like it’s no trouble at all.

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