Which Came First: The Lady or the House?

23 Jul

Acme Home Inspection’s Report on the Aspell Home:

This house is up to code in regards to plumbing, wiring, foundation and pest control. It is a very fine home. However, it is incumbent for the Seller to reveal one unusual aspect of the property. A rather substantial visage of a middle-aged woman occasionally appears on the left front wall (as you face the building) of the establishment.

The vision seems to be Ukrainian or possibly Serbo-Croatian. She could be Armenian or Polish or some other eastern European female. Further research is outside of ACH’s purview.

Annually, her “visits” number no more than eighteen and sometimes as few as a dozen. The dates vary but she always shows up on the feast day of St. Phoef and on July 26th which the Aspells assume is her birthday because on that day she wears a party hat.

Her arrival and presence in no way harms the house. Not even the exterior paint.

The first few times the sight of her upset the dog but now he begins wagging his tail before she is even visible.

Mrs. Ghost (as the Aspells have dubbed her) spends her time with them quietly watching the neighborhood goings on with a barely audible tsk tsk from time to time.

The one time she did speak at length she didn’t reveal the purpose of her visits but she did give an excellent recipe for apricot kolaches.

End of disclosure.


One Response to “Which Came First: The Lady or the House?”

  1. Martha July 23, 2012 at 12:25 PM #

    Ah, kolaches you say? well then perhaps she is Polish.

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