The Last of the Late, Great American Massage Parlors

5 Sep

Krystal was the last one to leave on the day they closed what the girls called “The Gland” for the last time.

It was legally bonded by the L.A. Pleasure Licensing Board as the “Sybil Gland Institute of North Hollywood”.
(Formerly– “The Love ConeXXXion”, “The Kuma-Kuma-Kuma Chameleon Sutra”, “The Rub-a-dub-dub You Decide How Many in a Tub”,
“Clark Kent’s Metoppless”, “Seventy-SEX Trombones”, “The Live, Nude, Topless/Bottomless, Hot, Hot, Hot Horny Beyond Belief,Barely Legal Nymphettes and Phone Cards” and “Sybil’s Sex 4 Less”.)

Krystal was surprised at the tears in her eyes as the door gently closed behind her. (Though, it’s possible it was the lingering after effect of the heavy disinfectant in the air or the certainty that Doug was going to stiff her for last night’s over-time.)

She was going to miss the good times. The day they left that box of adult toys in the hot sun and it turned into a gloppy latex soup. And when it did Shondra played a hella funny “House of Wax” joke on Sheena. (Out of control funny when they had to call the paramedics. Well, maybe not to Sheena or Shondra but Krystal just about peed her pants.)

She’d miss a lot of the regulars. The guy dressed as Bo Peep. The giant Virgin with the big eyes. And, of course, that guy who was a dead ringer for Charlie Sheen.

But like the Bible says– all good things must come to an end. Krystal locked the door, dropped the key into the lock box, hopped into her Dodge Charger and burned rubber.

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One Response to “The Last of the Late, Great American Massage Parlors”

  1. Martha September 5, 2012 at 5:27 PM #

    thanks for that…good laugh. I just watched Boogie Nights on HBO the other night…and was thinking of the people employed in this particular industry……this made me able to laugh again cuz I was feeling kinda sad for them.

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