Bill Steinkellner’s Salute to Political Endorsements

17 Oct

“Friends, I know you all know who I am — but for any newcomers to our fair hamlet — and by newcomer I mean anyone who has been here for less time than it takes to tank up your car and blow town– I am Mayor James T. Gilhouey.”

“The man to my right is Thaddeus J. “Bud” Meese.”

“Now, Bud, here is a fine husband. A fine law keeper. A fine man.”

“As you all know, tomorrow is election day. Tomorrow is when our lovely burg will elect a Sheriff. My good friend, Bud, will be seeking reelection. I hope you will support him in this endeavor.”

“To do so you will have to ignore the screaming headlines day after day in the Kokomo-Kaiser Gazette. These grievous lies in print, as I call them go on and on claiming that good ol’ Bud, here is keister deep in matters of graft, drunkeness while on duty, kick-backs, pay-offs, strong arming and extortion involving the county orphanage. All of this dating from day one of his tenure. In order to vote for him you will have to ignore all of this. I know I will and I hope
you will, too. Thank you. The bar is now open.”

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