Bill Steinkellner’s Guide to Pre-School Birthday Thanks Yous.

3 Dec

Dodie Bickers– A perfectly nice doll that Edna Jean threw aside while bursting into tears because it was “icky”.

Aunt Blethwyn — A red riding hood outfit that Edna Jean instantly adored until one of the Carstairs twins (probably Quentin) spilled punch and made some of the trimming dissolve. (Aunt B. pr0mised to make a replacement with something sturdier than crimson felt.

Bernie Dierdorfer — A ball which Edna lost in a trice.  So rapidly that it will be impossible to replace without a lot of embarrassing questions.  Praise the gift to the skies but use vague phrases.

All the other Aunts — A magnificent red and silver tricycle.  Uncle Jeremiah ran over it when he backed out of the garage.  Check to see if it can be fixed.  If  not come up with some fantastic but logical reason that Edna Jean is never seen riding it. (Allergies?  Stolen by a transient?  A friend borrowed it and then moved without leaving a forwarding address?  Ask Uncle Goodwin.  He has written for Vaudeville and must be excellent at coming up with something witty but believable.)

The Burton Family– A book titled: The Adventuring Girls and the Great Footed Monster of Tibet.  Oh, dear.

Little Oswald — A book mark in the shape of Peter Rabbit. Obviously not new, though there is a chance it’s a family heirloom. Tread lightly here




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